Motherfucking piece of fucked up useless shit. Hijo de la puta madre. I kick the tire. It doesn’t make me feel any better. How in the fuck is a $30,000+ German luxury car going to come with a jack that could hardly lift a plate of pasta.
I had been in such a good mood too.
I picked up Karen at 6:45, which – against all odds – is when I said I would pick her up. Then we got to the bar at 7, which – against all odds – is when we were supposed to get to the bar. Punctuality, it’s an invigorating concept. I even persuaded myself that this was something I could keep up, this arriving on time. 2006 would be different; it would be full of muscles that grow and to-do lists that shrink. Goals would be achieved. Books would be read. Friends would be both met and maintained. My professional life would become, actually professional. Things were looking up, I could feel it.
I had been looking forward to the San Diego Bloggers “thingie” more with curiosity than excitement. The last time we met, we were about 7. Mitch, Joe, and Al were the only bloggers there that I had read consistently. We introduced ourselves and our blogs. A reporter was there from the San Diego City Beat, but the story never made it to print. Which is understandable because god knows how she tried to make our conversation – bouncing between del.icio.us, Linux, OS X, and podcasting – interesting to anyone but ourselves.
Now it’s nearing 8 p.m. and the last stragglers have wandered in. A practical standing ovation was made for Joe, which made me happy. Even though he no longer lives here, he’s single-handedly responsible for an exponentially growing sense of community among San Diego’s internet users. Or, that is, geeks. Which is really what we are. Just look around. Four pushed-together tables of stuttering, fidgeting, and anything-but-suave-socialites who say things like “will you ‘ping’ Jeff for the basket of fries.”
OK, not really. Truth is you have no idea what any blogger will be like until you meet him or her offline. MAS surprised me. A foot taller than I expected, he was calm, affable, and easy going. Even charming. Nothing like the perpetually furious conservative I was expecting. He did, however seem much more the software engineer than the fitness guru or coffee connoisseur that had made its way into my character sketch. Route66 was also extraordinarily easy to get along with. We used to trade emails back and forth about local and national politics. At one point, when we were the two main contributors to San Diego Blog, we tried to plan a meetup. He suggested Starbucks, “if it wasn’t to prole” for my tastes. Not wanting to admit that it was, I wrote back saying hell, let’s meet at the Wal-Mart cafeteria. For whatever reason, though, it never happened.
Route66, it seems, is the type of person I like to be friends with. He’s informed, but not arrogant. Easy going, but not boring. With plenty to contribute to a conversation, but more importantly, an ever-attentive ear which listens to others, not himself. I was reminded of a flattering complement Liza once awarded upon this weblog. She said that the internet erases the artificial boundaries we insert into our minds and puts us in a light where we are just thinking, flawed individuals. Were it not for the internet, I would never have met friends like HP, Myke, Georgia, and hopefully now Route66 – who is probably about twice my age. Not because I discriminate, but because we are at different stages of our lives where we’d never come into contact. Or even if we did, it would (sadly) never occur to me to befriend a gay man from the South or a 50-year-old conservative from my own city.
I also had very nice and comfortable conversations with Leah, Mikey, and Joelle … bloggers from the old school who I used to read on a daily basis, but never caught back up with after returning from Monterrey. And of course Joe, one of those lovable guys that I know I’ll probably only see once every year or so, but who will remain a friend online and off well into the future.
Around 9, as was the plan, I got a friendly poke in the side from Karen and we shook hands around the table as we made our exit. We made fun of each other on the drive back as we like to do. It was a wonderful night.
And now this … this piece of shit, Nazi-engineered, useless fucked up excuse for a jack. Fuck it, you know what I’m going to do? I’m going into that McDonalds, I’m ordering two cheeseburgers and a sundae and then I’ll deal with this shit.
To be continued …
you and cars, oso, can’t say you’re a match made in heaven. 🙂
At least your name isn’t Richard Dean Anderson… it must suck to be him and have to stand next to a broken down car with no idea of what to do.
You must have the same kind of car I do, my car is German and the jack couldn’t lift an Olsen twin off the ground. Last time we used that jack the car fell off it, so be careful.
Too bad that happened to you. The good thing is that you didn’t have an accident 🙂 Hugs,
Karen,
But you should see me on a bicycle. Speaking of which … wasn’t getting a bike a new year’s resolution? Like three years ago?
Medea,
Dude, if I was MacGyver I coulda used a gum wrapper to jack up the car. Of course, it wouldn’t be worth having to have his hair.
CJ,
It’s not my car, it’s my mom’s. It’s a Mercedes 300 and something or other. Most retarded waste of money I’ve ever seen. And the jack did slip out and the entire car fell back onto the tire … just as I was slipping it off too. If it woulda fell on the rotor, that woulda been hundreds of dollars. Maybe thousands … these germans, they charge a hand and a leg.
Melissa,
It turned out just fine. More soon.
At least I’m not described at being twice your age. I think I only have you by about a decade.
Hey … this post made me think about the next gay blogger meet-up in NYC this May. It’ll be the 3rd annual. I’ve met and become friends with quite a few from there and I love the city so I’m sure it’ll be fun yet again.
Now when are you comin’ back to the east coast to visit up with Abogado in DC?? If I know enough in advance, I can get up there for a day or two and see a bit of the city with you both. And drink. A lot.
LOL@ “will you ‘ping’ Jeff for the basket of fries.”
Gawd, that cracked me up! I actually did LOL. . .
Flats suck ass! I can change a tire, but I love being a girl. . .pretending I can’t. . calling up a guy friend and having him put up with that shit!
Dawg, count your blessing, just think if you would have gotten a flat in Monterrey, Mexico, in the scorching heat, on your way to Mc Allen, Texas, in a truck you don’t know shit about. Now that sucks!!!
>Route66 – who is probably about twice my age.
“I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” – Ronald Reagan during a 1984 presidential debate with Walter Mondale. Sorry, I couldn’t think of any liberals to quote.
That was probably the most fascinating flat tire /blogger meetup story I’ve ever read. Ok, it’s the only one I’ve ever read.
My pleasure meeting you live -so to speak- and in person. Looking forward to another time mi amigo, Starbucks or Wal-mart or anywhere in between.
ahem, yes, well. so many resolutions so little time 🙂